The end is near !!

I was about to hit a dog when I was riding my 2-wheeler on the road today. The dog was trying to cross the road without watching out for the vehicles on the road.

What a kalyug this is - The dogs have started to behave like humans. Is this the beginning of the end of the world?

Pizza Vs Ambulance

When somebody says, "In our country, Pizza takes less than 30 mins to come, but Ambulance does not come even after 2 hours", you will find people applauding at the statement. A few people may even have tears in their eyes.

But the reason why Pizza comes before Ambulance is that Pizza is delivered in a two-wheeler. The guy can ride on footpaths, broken roads, blocked roads, and reach the destination. Ambulance cant do that. Ambulance can help the vehicles behind it to scrape through the red-light along with it.

Rajini - The Rajini !

Here is my contribution to the world of Rajini jokes:

Rajini can become nostalgic about his future!

The pendulum stopped .......... Rajini hypnotized it!

Batting team needs 63 runs to win off one ball. The bowler bowls a legal delivery (not a wide, not a no-ball), but still the batting team wins. How?

Answer: The batsman's name was Rajinikanth.

Rajini can make ghosts confess that they actually don't exist!

The fathers of churches go to Rajini's house for their confessions.

"The time is 6:30" replied a deaf and dumb person, when Rajini asked him what time it was.

Rajinikanth can drive at 100 kmph in Bommanahalli at peak hours.

India wins !!!

A new India was born on 30th of September, 2010 at around 4 PM, when the Ayodhya verdict was given.



It's proved that everyone in India is treated equally, and hence equal division of land. I'm so glad that one party did not get 2/5th of the land, and the other 1/5th, or something like that.

After Uma Bharathi, probably, I'm the happiest person on this Earth today. India has raised one level up on the World map after yesterday's verdict.

I'm proud to be an Indian, and hope the Supreme court makes my great grand children proud!!

Ayodhya Verdict

Temple?
Mosque?
.
.
.
.
.

Mayawati Statue !!!

Interview

I took an online interview and here are the questions and my answers:




Question: how many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Answer: as many people needed to water 5 trees in 6 days




Question: If you look at the color blue, what does it make you think of?

Answer: blue apples



Question: What is the meaning of life?

Answer: A state in which people assume that they are alive




Question: Do you like thunderstorms?

Answer: Sure. How many?


Question: what do you think they eat in heaven?

Answer: Dum Biriyani




Question: Do you drink coffee?

Answer: No, I eat coffee




Question: Do you believe in ghosts?

Answer: Only if they believe in me!




Question: What do you do on fridays?

Answer: Go to office




Question: If you could have one super human power what would you choose?

Answer: Have human qualities




Question: Do you read harry potter books?

Answer: No, I burn them!




Question: Kill the spider or let it out?

Answer: make it bite me, so that I become Spiderman




Question: Do you eat cold cereal at night?

Answer: No, I sleep at night!




Question: Define yourself in 3 words...

Answer: This is me




Question: Would you rather be blind or deaf?

Answer: Anything, but dumb!




Question: Favorite fruit?

Answer: success




Question: What was your last thought?

Answer: What was my last thought?




Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Answer: Why not?




Question: What are some of your favorite Disney Films?

Answer: Chandni Chowk to China, Delhi 6, Tashan



Question: Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?

Answer: Other




Question: Favorite Place to Eat?

Answer: Dining Table




Question: Water or 100% Juice?

Answer: 13.75% water



Question: Do you have any tattoos, and if so what and where?

Answer: No, none and nowhere




Question: Where do you see yourself in five years?

Answer: in the mirror




Question: What 3 words would your best friend use to describe you?

Answer: He is ok




Question: If you had only six months to live, what would you do first?

Answer: Breathe




Question: What do you do for fun?

Answer: say truth




Question: Who was your hero as a child?

Answer: The baby in "baby's day out!"




Question: Do you believe that the cup is half empty or half full?

Answer: Fully empty after i finish the coffee




Question: If you won the lottery, how would you spend your millions?

Answer: paying taxes




Question: If you were an animal in the wild, what would you be?

Answer: Pritam, the music "composer"




Question: What makes you laugh?

Answer: Seriousness




Question: What makes you cry?

Answer: perpetual laughter




Question: If you have friends coming for supper what would you cook?

Answer: stories




Question: If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?

Answer: vaccuum




Question: If you could be successful at any job in the world, what would that job be?

Answer: Serial Killer




Question: Describe your perfect Sunday morning?

Answer: Sun rises, and I wake up!




Question: Close your eyes for a moment, who pops into your head?

Answer: Popeye the sailor man




Question: How many hobbies do you have

Answer: 334




Question: What attracts you most?

Answer: Earth




Question: do you plan in advance

Answer: No, I plan in retrospection!




Question: beach or mountain?

Answer: Beach on top of a mountain!




Question: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

Answer: as much as it wants to




Question: Do you believe a good life is attainable? or is it something that is out of our control ie subject to luck etc.

Answer: Its definitely attainable, if you are lucky!




Question: Whats your favorite sport?

Answer: Going to office in the local bus




Question: What language would you like to speak fluently?

Answer: yabbybookeyis



Question: Whats the First Thing You Notice In A Boy/Girl?

Answer: If he/she has more than one nose and less than 2 ears, and more than 3 eyes




Question: Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt?

Answer: Tom & Jerry



Question: What is your natural hair color?

Answer: florescent green




Question: What is the name of your truest friend???

Answer: Dablu Liar




Question: What sort of character would you play in a comic book (hero, humorous sidekick, villian, that abrasive newspaper guy, etc.)

Answer: humurous villain




Question: What colour are your eyes?

Answer: Dark White




Question: Do you believe in heaven and hell?

Answer: I believe in the country's law




Question: if you were one of the seven dwarfs, who would you be?

Answer: The 5th one from the right




Question: What kind of car do you drive?

Answer: one with 4 wheels




Question: If you could pick anyone dead or alive to have lunch with, who would it be?

Answer: Mahatma Gandhi ji to Hyderabadi Biryani


Question: What would you do if this interview is never ending?

Answer: Ignore this question

Selflessness

"Selflessness" - This word should be removed from the dictionary, or atleast its meaning has to be modified as "non-existing".

Selfishness is an inherent property of a human being. I was having the "selfish-selfless" discussion with a friend of mine, when he said "Many people do social service. They are selfless people". I said, "Those people are getting happiness by doing social work. Helping others is actually increasing their own happiness. So, they are the most selfish people."

If you dont believe me, just ask any person who cares for others, and who helps others, if he/she is not doing it happily.

People who come close to be called as "selfless" are those who help others and dont feel happy about it. Because they are going against their own happiness, which is the toughest thing to do for any human being.

What say?

By the way, a happy new year!